Thursday, January 20, 2005
The 'Game' we love to play..
The game we all love to play.. and sadly, I am very bad at it..
I am tired of this life.
Maybe it's this city, but for sure, I will miss it if it's taken away from me.
Putting on make-ups, body hugging clothes, making sure all strands of hair in place, the perfect golden tan, the flawless skin and body... etc ..
Having people looking at you, and loving the attention. Feeding that ego which is eating up oneself. To kill a person, not with a gun, just say 'Oh my God, u are having more pimples!' will send one to his grave and total humiliation.
I remembered someone close telling me, to play this game, u have to be strong mentally, and able to be always in your best of appearence. If one doesnt have the looks, forget it. If one has the looks, always remember to strive to be the better looking, as there will always be a much more better looking person.. If u are not strong... Go Home. Simple as that.
Finally, after loads of alcohol that is enough to kill a house rat, I have decided I will like to end this horrible nonsense.
It is taking toll on my health and my mentality.. everything.
For such a wonderful time, I suddenly kind of detest it.
People talking behind your back, those fake smiles, those conspiracy, those awkwardness..
I miss the days when I was 16.. My days in CJC.. with a couple of realli close frends, at National Sailing Club, sleeping under the blanket of stars and passing aeroplanes..
I am really scared.. I suddenly dont know myself.. my future.. my life.
I am tired of this life.
Maybe it's this city, but for sure, I will miss it if it's taken away from me.
Putting on make-ups, body hugging clothes, making sure all strands of hair in place, the perfect golden tan, the flawless skin and body... etc ..
Having people looking at you, and loving the attention. Feeding that ego which is eating up oneself. To kill a person, not with a gun, just say 'Oh my God, u are having more pimples!' will send one to his grave and total humiliation.
I remembered someone close telling me, to play this game, u have to be strong mentally, and able to be always in your best of appearence. If one doesnt have the looks, forget it. If one has the looks, always remember to strive to be the better looking, as there will always be a much more better looking person.. If u are not strong... Go Home. Simple as that.
Finally, after loads of alcohol that is enough to kill a house rat, I have decided I will like to end this horrible nonsense.
It is taking toll on my health and my mentality.. everything.
For such a wonderful time, I suddenly kind of detest it.
People talking behind your back, those fake smiles, those conspiracy, those awkwardness..
I miss the days when I was 16.. My days in CJC.. with a couple of realli close frends, at National Sailing Club, sleeping under the blanket of stars and passing aeroplanes..
I am really scared.. I suddenly dont know myself.. my future.. my life.
# posted by celloboi @ 11:59 AM 
